This is an IQ test given to job applicants in China: "Everybody has to cross the river".
The following rules apply:
1. Only 2 persons on the raft at a time
(Either they're so overweight it'll sink...or its some cheap French Import!!!)
2. The father can not stay with any of the daughters without their mother's presence
3. The mother can not stay with any of the sons without their father's presence
(This seems like quite a disturbed family... reminds me of people I know....
no names mentioned - BUT YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!)
4. The thief (striped shirt) can not stay with any family member if the Policeman is not there
5. Only the Father, the Mother and the Policeman know how to operate the raft
(Cos the kids are stooooopid)
6. To start click on the big blue circle on the right.
7. To move the people click on them.
8. To move the raft click on the pole on the opposite side of the river.
http://freeweb.siol.net/danej/riverIQGame.swf
This can be achieved - honest!
I've actually managed to do this... Let me know if you want the solution and I'll let you have it!!!!
(Personally I don't thik any of you bozo's have a hope in hell of doing this..... but I just wanted to fry your brains........hehehehehehe)
Friday, July 22, 2005
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
I.C.E........At last a useful e-mail forward
At last for the first time ever some one has sent me an e-mail forward that appears quite useful, very practical and could potentially save someone's life....
Here it is.........
"Dear All, East Anglian Ambulance Service have launched a national "In case of Emergency (ICE)" campaign with the support of Falklands war hero Simon Weston and in association with Vodafone's annual life savers award. The idea is that you store the word "ICE" in your mobile phone address book, and against it enter the number of the person you would want to be contacted "In Case of Emergency". In an emergency situation ambulance and hospital staff will then be able to quickly find out who your next of kin are and be able to contact them. It's so simple - everyone can do it. Please do. Please will you also forward this to everybody in your address book, it won't take too many forwards' before everybody will know about this. It really could save your life."
I would do this myself but I have three phones (yes I am one of those idiots with more phones that ears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and it would be too much like hard work going through and changing my address book!!!
Actually on second thoughts I kind of do this already... except that the main number is stored under "MUM".... which stands for well Mum....
Here it is.........
"Dear All, East Anglian Ambulance Service have launched a national "In case of Emergency (ICE)" campaign with the support of Falklands war hero Simon Weston and in association with Vodafone's annual life savers award. The idea is that you store the word "ICE" in your mobile phone address book, and against it enter the number of the person you would want to be contacted "In Case of Emergency". In an emergency situation ambulance and hospital staff will then be able to quickly find out who your next of kin are and be able to contact them. It's so simple - everyone can do it. Please do. Please will you also forward this to everybody in your address book, it won't take too many forwards' before everybody will know about this. It really could save your life."
I would do this myself but I have three phones (yes I am one of those idiots with more phones that ears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and it would be too much like hard work going through and changing my address book!!!
Actually on second thoughts I kind of do this already... except that the main number is stored under "MUM".... which stands for well Mum....
Thursday, July 14, 2005
50th birthday...woo hoo
As I was about to make a post I realised that this was going to be my 50th post....
This blog has now reached its second milestone (the first was reaching 500 site hits (although 376.897987 were probably me just logging on to see how mny hits I'd had!!!!!!!!))...
Again I think this calls for a celebration... more chocolate (maybe now you guys can see why I need to hit the gym so much!!!!!!)...
I would also like to invite comments aout what you guys think of this blog and my writings.
Is there too much or not enough? Are there other topics I should cover or is the subject matter okay??? How do you find the colour scheme/template??? Is there too much going on in the sidebars? Is the font too small (or too big even???)...Or any other comments you have...
Any feedback would be more than appreciated (although in recognition of my artistic and literary ability I am expecting everyone to tell me how great this site (and I) am... And never fear I take negative criticism quite well.... I'll only smack you over the head with a baseball bat a limited number of times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well that's all and here's to the next 50....
This blog has now reached its second milestone (the first was reaching 500 site hits (although 376.897987 were probably me just logging on to see how mny hits I'd had!!!!!!!!))...
Again I think this calls for a celebration... more chocolate (maybe now you guys can see why I need to hit the gym so much!!!!!!)...
I would also like to invite comments aout what you guys think of this blog and my writings.
Is there too much or not enough? Are there other topics I should cover or is the subject matter okay??? How do you find the colour scheme/template??? Is there too much going on in the sidebars? Is the font too small (or too big even???)...Or any other comments you have...
Any feedback would be more than appreciated (although in recognition of my artistic and literary ability I am expecting everyone to tell me how great this site (and I) am... And never fear I take negative criticism quite well.... I'll only smack you over the head with a baseball bat a limited number of times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well that's all and here's to the next 50....
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Its a beautiful day
Well again I can't think of much to write about.... but my colleague (to protect his privacy lets give him a false identity say Maritz - the South African) suggested that I tell the world how beautiful a day it is.... I gave him a look of consternation and said"who's gonna find that interestin matey?????".....
Then with a sly grin he replied... "ahh but imagine all those people in Poland, Siberia and the North Pole... who will be tortured at hearing how warm it is here......"
And therein my dear readers you can get an insight into the mental workings of Maritz - the South African!!!!!!!!!!! Any people from the colder climates should be way of crossing his path for fear of the mental torture he will wreak upon them...........
Disclaimer
Actually the person mentioned above as Maritz - the South African is a really nice bloke, he even brought a cake in cos it was his birthday (For the record I have never seen how he intereacts with people from Poland, Siberia or the North Pole, so I can neither confirm nr deny that he would cause them much mental torture!!!!).
Oh yeah and "HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MARITZ - THE SOUTH AFRICAN"
Then with a sly grin he replied... "ahh but imagine all those people in Poland, Siberia and the North Pole... who will be tortured at hearing how warm it is here......"
And therein my dear readers you can get an insight into the mental workings of Maritz - the South African!!!!!!!!!!! Any people from the colder climates should be way of crossing his path for fear of the mental torture he will wreak upon them...........
Disclaimer
Actually the person mentioned above as Maritz - the South African is a really nice bloke, he even brought a cake in cos it was his birthday (For the record I have never seen how he intereacts with people from Poland, Siberia or the North Pole, so I can neither confirm nr deny that he would cause them much mental torture!!!!).
Oh yeah and "HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MARITZ - THE SOUTH AFRICAN"
Thursday, July 07, 2005
London explosions
I would like to express my sadness at the awful incidents today in London, my thoughts and prayers are with all those who have been injured or who have lost a loved one.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
500 and counting................
Some one is actually reading this blog... I know I've said it before but I still find it hard to believe... the stat counter at the bottom of the page has registered over 500 visits to this blog (the vast bulf of them are probably just me admiring my own creation)....
I think that I deserve some kind of recognition so I think I'll treat myself to a choccy bar!!!
I think that I deserve some kind of recognition so I think I'll treat myself to a choccy bar!!!
Got rid of her at last
At last its over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I've finnalyy gotten rid of her at last!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If your all wondering what I'm talking about its my sisters wedding...
The Nikah (marriage ceremony) and meal took place on Saturday (2 July) in Bradford at Anam's Restaurant (arranged and PAID FOR by ME!!!!!).
The Walima (reception) took place on Sunday (3 July) in Leicester (arranged for by the groom's side).
I have to express my heartfelt thanks and appreciation to the management and staff at Anam's restaurant who handled the day (and my family) quite well... both the event and the organisation went without a hitch...
Actually the fact that there weren't any problems nearly caused a problem... During my planning I had built in a fair amount of time to allow for late comers and delays (after all it is an Asian wedding!!!)... but to my shcok everyone was on time... some people were actually early!!! The manager was also in shock... having organised a number of events in the past this is the first one he had ever seen where people had turned up (and left) on time!!! He kept commenting how surprised he was.... well I guess we asians are coming up in the world!!!!!!
I would also like to expres my heartfelt thanks to Adnan and Rai who were a great help (actually I'm a bit jealous of Adnan as I think he was impressing more people than I did).
Most people commented that the whole arrangement was a very classy affair... the food was good and the setting fantastic... The only person who hasn't thanked me yet is... err.... my sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All in all eveything went quite well - except for the usual list of complaints and put downs from family members who turned up on masse to be fed (picture the scene of an African desert with a pack of hungry hyenas devouring a carcass and you'll get the picture) never to be seen until the next wedding reception....
I do have a few moans about my family members but I guess I'd better keep quiet or else I'll end up ebing castrated!!!!!
The last thing I'd like to say is that I hope my sister and her new family have a very happy and prosperous future!!!
(And finally I'm going to go and check my on-line bank account to see how badly this classy affair has put me back!!!!! If anyone would like to contribute to the Salim Suleman bankruptcy fund please send blank cheques to my home address).
It was quite good to see most of my relatives and friends...
If your all wondering what I'm talking about its my sisters wedding...
The Nikah (marriage ceremony) and meal took place on Saturday (2 July) in Bradford at Anam's Restaurant (arranged and PAID FOR by ME!!!!!).
The Walima (reception) took place on Sunday (3 July) in Leicester (arranged for by the groom's side).
I have to express my heartfelt thanks and appreciation to the management and staff at Anam's restaurant who handled the day (and my family) quite well... both the event and the organisation went without a hitch...
Actually the fact that there weren't any problems nearly caused a problem... During my planning I had built in a fair amount of time to allow for late comers and delays (after all it is an Asian wedding!!!)... but to my shcok everyone was on time... some people were actually early!!! The manager was also in shock... having organised a number of events in the past this is the first one he had ever seen where people had turned up (and left) on time!!! He kept commenting how surprised he was.... well I guess we asians are coming up in the world!!!!!!
I would also like to expres my heartfelt thanks to Adnan and Rai who were a great help (actually I'm a bit jealous of Adnan as I think he was impressing more people than I did).
Most people commented that the whole arrangement was a very classy affair... the food was good and the setting fantastic... The only person who hasn't thanked me yet is... err.... my sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All in all eveything went quite well - except for the usual list of complaints and put downs from family members who turned up on masse to be fed (picture the scene of an African desert with a pack of hungry hyenas devouring a carcass and you'll get the picture) never to be seen until the next wedding reception....
I do have a few moans about my family members but I guess I'd better keep quiet or else I'll end up ebing castrated!!!!!
The last thing I'd like to say is that I hope my sister and her new family have a very happy and prosperous future!!!
(And finally I'm going to go and check my on-line bank account to see how badly this classy affair has put me back!!!!! If anyone would like to contribute to the Salim Suleman bankruptcy fund please send blank cheques to my home address).
It was quite good to see most of my relatives and friends...
Friday, June 24, 2005
Take hold of every moment....
A friend e-mailed this to me and I thought it was something that was very true and should be shared...
TAKE HOLD OF EVERY MOMENT
A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package: "This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package."He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box. "She got this the first time we went to New York, 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on. Was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is it. He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothings he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died. He turned to me and said: "Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion". I still think those words changed my life.Now I read more and clean less. I sit on the porch without worrying about anything. I spend more time with my family, and less at work. I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through. I no longer keep anything. I use crystal glasses every day. I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if i feel like it.I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to. The words "Someday..." and "One Day..." are fading away from my dictionary. If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now. I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell. I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends. She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels. I'd like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favourite food. It's these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come. I would regret it, because I would no longer see the friends I would meet, letters... letters that i wanted to write "One of this days". I would regret and feel sad, because I didn't say to my brothers and sons, not times enough at least, how much I love them. Now, I try not to delay, postpone or keep anything that could bring laughter and joy into our lives. And, on each morning, I say to myself that this could be a special day. Each day, each hour, each minute, is special. If you got this, it's because someone cares for you and because, probably, there's someone you care about. If you're too busy to send this out to other people and you say to yourself that you will send it "One of these days", remember that "One day" is far away... or might never come...
TAKE HOLD OF EVERY MOMENT
A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package: "This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package."He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box. "She got this the first time we went to New York, 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on. Was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is it. He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothings he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died. He turned to me and said: "Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion". I still think those words changed my life.Now I read more and clean less. I sit on the porch without worrying about anything. I spend more time with my family, and less at work. I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through. I no longer keep anything. I use crystal glasses every day. I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if i feel like it.I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to. The words "Someday..." and "One Day..." are fading away from my dictionary. If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now. I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell. I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends. She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels. I'd like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favourite food. It's these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come. I would regret it, because I would no longer see the friends I would meet, letters... letters that i wanted to write "One of this days". I would regret and feel sad, because I didn't say to my brothers and sons, not times enough at least, how much I love them. Now, I try not to delay, postpone or keep anything that could bring laughter and joy into our lives. And, on each morning, I say to myself that this could be a special day. Each day, each hour, each minute, is special. If you got this, it's because someone cares for you and because, probably, there's someone you care about. If you're too busy to send this out to other people and you say to yourself that you will send it "One of these days", remember that "One day" is far away... or might never come...
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
I have a new toy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In my last post I forgot to mention the latest addition to my range of toys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have now got satellite navigation for my car....which now means that the total retail value of the stuff in my car is well in excess of the actual value of the car!!!!!!!
Satellite navigation is brilliant... it means that now I can get lost faster the ever before....
To any of you who are thinking of getting sat nav here are some key tips:
Oh if you're wondering what I have its called TomTom... I have it installed on my super duper phone which is touch screen and its generally easy to use... I'm sure it can do a million and one things more..but I will probably never figure out how to use them as I'm as stupid as they come!!!
The one add on that TomTom could make is include a personal chaueffer in the price so I don't have to actually bother doing any driving and can just sleep...I'm gonna let TomTom have my suggestion and I eagerly look forward to buying the new upgraded version!
I have now got satellite navigation for my car....which now means that the total retail value of the stuff in my car is well in excess of the actual value of the car!!!!!!!
Satellite navigation is brilliant... it means that now I can get lost faster the ever before....
To any of you who are thinking of getting sat nav here are some key tips:
- GET A GOD DAMN CAR CHARGER FOR EVERYTHING TO DO WITH SAT NAV... it drinks a lot of juice and if it dies on you half way through unknown territory you're completly stuffed like err I was!!!!!!!!!!!
- Check if there is more than one road with the name you're looking fo in the city.... as I've managed to end up in the wrong place cos of that!!!!!!!!!!
- Don't follow it blindly as you may end up going down some one way streets... while its good it does have a few flaws.
Oh if you're wondering what I have its called TomTom... I have it installed on my super duper phone which is touch screen and its generally easy to use... I'm sure it can do a million and one things more..but I will probably never figure out how to use them as I'm as stupid as they come!!!
The one add on that TomTom could make is include a personal chaueffer in the price so I don't have to actually bother doing any driving and can just sleep...I'm gonna let TomTom have my suggestion and I eagerly look forward to buying the new upgraded version!
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
I'm back...I hope
Sorry guys...been busy with work and all...
Here's a quick update of my life while I've been away....
My car died... they quoted me £800 to fix a £400 car at which point I thought it was time to get a new car... I tried the public transport lark... but this was having seriously detrimental impacts on my beauty sleep, wallet and social life (well potential social life!!!!). I was forever missing thetrain or bus or tube and then had to wait ages for the next one!!!! But after a month of being Carlos (car less) I though it was good to become the slickster again!!!!
I've started the gym up again (well I went once last week) ... and shock horror... last night I actually cooked something healthy...rice with tuna and sweetcorn... and I used the left overs for lunch my god if I keep this up I'd be thin and rich!!!!
Rearranged my sisters wedding venue to somewhere that costs three times as much but its worth it cos I think she loves the place!!!! I just hope she appreciates the damage to my pocket!!!
Took my darling nieces (Farah, Faiza, Saima) out shopping for clothes (and somehow they seem to have become very mouthy!!!
Made the mistake of telling some sisters, nieces etc in London that stuff like khousa's in Leeds/Bradford were about a fraction of the price that they are in London... guess which pumpkin got lumbered with the task of buying about fifty pairs in different colours, sizes and styles for ten girls.... yep moi... with my lack of fashion sense and with no idea of girls tastes I've probably bought the wrong stuff or got all left feet!!! Anyway the shopkeeper showed some sign of concern that a random blok was buying about 50 pairs of ladies footwear... he probably thinks I've got some weird fetish.......
Went to see star wars and loved it but I'll post a review next time...
and that's it your more or less upto date if I've forgotten anything I'll let you know!!!
Here's a quick update of my life while I've been away....
My car died... they quoted me £800 to fix a £400 car at which point I thought it was time to get a new car... I tried the public transport lark... but this was having seriously detrimental impacts on my beauty sleep, wallet and social life (well potential social life!!!!). I was forever missing thetrain or bus or tube and then had to wait ages for the next one!!!! But after a month of being Carlos (car less) I though it was good to become the slickster again!!!!
I've started the gym up again (well I went once last week) ... and shock horror... last night I actually cooked something healthy...rice with tuna and sweetcorn... and I used the left overs for lunch my god if I keep this up I'd be thin and rich!!!!
Rearranged my sisters wedding venue to somewhere that costs three times as much but its worth it cos I think she loves the place!!!! I just hope she appreciates the damage to my pocket!!!
Took my darling nieces (Farah, Faiza, Saima) out shopping for clothes (and somehow they seem to have become very mouthy!!!
Made the mistake of telling some sisters, nieces etc in London that stuff like khousa's in Leeds/Bradford were about a fraction of the price that they are in London... guess which pumpkin got lumbered with the task of buying about fifty pairs in different colours, sizes and styles for ten girls.... yep moi... with my lack of fashion sense and with no idea of girls tastes I've probably bought the wrong stuff or got all left feet!!! Anyway the shopkeeper showed some sign of concern that a random blok was buying about 50 pairs of ladies footwear... he probably thinks I've got some weird fetish.......
Went to see star wars and loved it but I'll post a review next time...
and that's it your more or less upto date if I've forgotten anything I'll let you know!!!
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